There are two types of giving – with and without expectation.
Most giving is done expecting something in return.
We clean a car and expect money in return.
We lend a hand and expect help when we need it.
We offer advice and expect to get paid for work down the road.
…
On the other hand, we have what is often thought of as giving without expectation.
We anonymously donating money to a charity who can’t possible repay us.
We volunteer time working with the less fortunate without asking for anything in return.
…
These feel like
But there’s a problem.
We never really give without expecting anything in return.
Sure, in the examples I listed, there’s no external expectation of repayment.
But that’s not to say it’s completely selfless.
We might donate time because we want our community to improve, or because we want to feel like a good, useful individual. Or maybe there’s some other reason.
But if we’re honest with ourselves, every action comes with some amount of selfishness.
So what do we do with this realization?
For one, we can accept that every action has some level of self interest.
We don’t have to feel bad about our motives or lie to ourselves. Even if we’re helping others to feel good about ourselves, we’re still helping to make the world a better place.
But just as importantly, we can appreciate the significant difference between giving while expecting outward repayment and giving for a deeper purpose.
Giving of any sort is a generous act. But it comes across as so much more genuine when it’s apparent that we aren’t expecting some form of direct repayment.
Not just saying that we don’t expect repayment either.
But honestly being at peace with the idea that we’re giving because it’s what we want to do.
-Brandon