Nearly all of us say that we want feedback.

We want to understand how things are going so we can improve. We want to know why we lost so we can be better next time.

But more often than not, we go into defense mode as soon as this feedback comes out. We complain about how the other side was wrong and we make a sales pitch about why negative opinions should be changed.

This is perfectly natural. Hearing negative feedback is never fun.

But it’s also almost entirely counterproductive.

Sure we might get lucky sometimes and convince the other side to change their opinion, but that’s extremely rare. And it comes at a cost.

If all we do is complain and jump into a combative mode every time we get negative feedback, it won’t take long before the other side stops providing this feedback.

If we truly want to understand where things stand and where we can be better, then we have to be willing to bite our tongues.

We have to be willing to truly listen to understand rather than fight.

Later we can take actions to try to change negative sentiments, but not now.

-Brandon