One of the most impactful conversations I’ve had came at a strange time.

The business relationship with one of our customers was seemingly getting out of hand, so one of my company’s executives wanted to see the situation firsthand. I had been explaining that things weren’t as bad as they seemed, but the feeling up the chain was that the situation was dire.

So we went for a conversation.

My executive came prepared, expecting a battle. He thought it was going to be a fight to keep our footing, and that the other individual would come swinging.

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Yes, this person had been expressing frustration (sometimes to almost obscene levels) but for the first time, my executive saw the whole situation. 

The frustration was directed at my company, but it wasn’t about my company. It came from much deeper.

There were personal struggles, internal clashing, and more.

So we didn’t have a battle that day. We just sat and listened.

For the first 40 minutes of an hour-long meeting, we barely said a word. And the comments we did make couldn’t have been further from the business topics at hand.

But that’s fine because this individual didn’t need to hear what we had to say anyways.

They had to be heard.

To vent.

 

That conversation was a turning point in several ways.

For one, after seeing what I had come to accept over the previous few months, my executive’s mood changed immediately.

My company put down our shield and saw the relationship for what it was. Almost overnight, it improved.

But potentially even more importantly, it was an eye-opening experience for me.

We tend to think that everything is personal. That frustration and lashing out is about us.

But we forget that the people we interact with are much more than a suit sitting on the other side of the table. 

They’re people first.

We couldn’t have possibly had a productive business conversation that day. All parties just weren’t in the right mental position.

So rather than forcing the issue, we met our colleague where they were. They had something to say, so we just listened.

And it made all the difference. 

-Brandon