After recently leasing a new car, I got a text from the dealership just “checking up” to see how everything was going.

I was impressed. I’m used to becoming invisible to the salesperson once the paperwork is signed, so it was refreshing to see that someone genuinely wanted to follow up.

But seconds after I replied, the feeling changed.

A long text was sent reminding me to make sure that I filled out the dealership survey before the end of the month. And just like that, any positive thoughts I had were replaced by frustration.

Maybe the salesperson had actually cared about how things were going and wanted to check in, but the whole sentiment was ruined once the second message came. Just like that, I assumed that the survey was all that mattered and that anything before that had been part of a ploy to get me to respond.

 

It’s not unlike the classic case of “connecting” with an old friend.

An old high school friend reaches out to randomly reconnect, then shortly after asks for a favor. Just like that, it becomes obvious that the other person didn’t care about connecting. They just wanted the favor.

 

After reflecting on both of these scenarios, I think I figured out why they’re so off-putting.

It isn’t the fact that the salesperson wanted me to fill out a survey, or that the friend wanted a favor. Those are both perfectly reasonable things to ask for.

But when a request is thinly veiled by niceties, it comes across as manipulative. As soon as the request comes, the recipient questions the previous conversations and loses some trust in the other person.

So what’s the solution?

Changing the order.

Maybe something like this:

Hey [buyer],

I want to quickly remind you that we’d really appreciate it if you could please fill out our dealership survey by the end of the month. This survey is heavily weighed when making decisions about the dealership, so it would mean a lot to us if you could share your thoughts.

Seperately, how’s everything going with the car? Is there anything I can explain for you, or anything else you might need?

The exact text can be personalized, but the key thing is that this note is transparent. It’s obvious to the recipient that the dealership needs his/her help, and in addition to the request, the salesperson is there to help with anything the buyer might need.

It seems simple, but the order makes a big difference.

-Brandon