Nearly everyone knows that we “should” listen more than we talk.

But even if we’re able to keep our mouth shut more than 50% of the time, it isn’t enough. Merely listening your allotted time doesn’t make you a good person to talk with.

The key is in how we listen, and how we choose to use our words.

We can’t just be quiet. We have to actually listen.

And more importantly, we have to make the other person feel heard.

That means trying to understand what they’re saying. Asking relevant follow-up question. Showing with our body language that we’re interested.

And perhaps most difficult, it means trying to understand what the other person wants to talk about.

Everybody has different conversation styles. Our preferred method of communicating can even change with our mood, and various other factors that our conversation partner couldn’t possibly understand coming into the conversation.

We don’t have to be mind readers when we enter a conversation, and we don’t need be perfect in our ability to focus on the other person rather than ourselves.

But often times, simply having these ideas in the back of our minds can be enough to help create a more meaningful connection.

-Brandon